SEASON 2, Episode 2

GIRLS

SEASON 2, Episode 2

GEORGE: I thought you knew you were gay. I know you're young, but come-on, you enjoy musicals and butt plugs. I'm too old for this shit.

ELIJAH: Forget I fucked Marnie. It was two pumps and then I got soft!

Hannah's room. She shows Elijah a creepy video of Adam singing a depressing song to Hannah.

HANNAH: Oh my god he likes me so much I bet he's going to murder me.

Marnie is on a job interview at a gallery.

MARNIE: I got fired, but I am young and pretty and will work for free so I just don't understand how this could happen.

GALLERY DIRECTOR (to her assistant): Cup. Hot water. Tea bag. In. Out. In. Out. Stupid little girl.

MARNIE: Um.

GALLERY DIRECTOR: I could hire you, but I won't. I just don't see you in the art world.

MARNIE: But where do you see me? How else will I meet my future husband? 

Sandy, Hannah and Elijah are together.

SANDY: Not only am I black, but I am also a Republican. A total fucking outsider to make your tv show more diverse.

Ray and Shoshanna make pillow talk.

RAY: You pet the animals and you experience emotions. I can pet a pig.

SHOSHANNA: I can pet a pig, too.

Marnie walks into the apartment and complains about losing her job.

MARNIE: There aren't curator jobs anymore! I wish someone had told me that before I decided on a career as a curator!

RAY: There are too many curators in the world. You're screwed.

SHOSHANNA: You could, like, totally get a pretty person job.

Thomas-John's apartment with Jessa and Hannah.

THOMAS-JOHN:What the fuck are you wearing?

HANNAH: It's a pair of shorteralls. And yeah, I invented that.

JESSA: OMG puppies! What a perfect wedding gift!

HANNAH: Let me stuff one down my shirt.

JESSA: Life is never going to get any better for you.

Hannah and Sandy are making out on Sandy's couch in his impossibly grown-up apartment.

SANDY: Your writing is shit. Nothing is going on. It's vapid.

HANNAH: This opens up a dialogue about MY work and ME and ME and ME. Thanks for talking about ME. I like you.

SANDY: I'm a Republican. My skin may be black, but I'm not.

HANNAH: I don't like you. Let's just be friends.

SANDY: You must leave.

HANNAH: But I wanted to date a black guy and go to a bad part of town!

Marnie and Elijah are in Hannah's apartment.

MARNIE: We have to tell Hannah we slept together! It's the most important thing in the world right now!

ELIJAH: No. Her skin is thick like a hippo, but it's really thin like paper. 

Hannah enters.

MARINE: I got a job as a hostess at a rich old man club!

HANNAH: Whore.

MARNIE: You're just jealous because you can't get a pretty person job.

HANNAH: Well I have my own tv show, biatch!

Hannah's bedroom at night.

ADAM: Boo! I might murder you!

HANNAH: Go away after I give you some milk.

Hannah Dials 9-1-1, but quickly hangs up.

ADAM: I will pursue you because someone must to make you appear attractive.

HANNAH: It's quite the mind-fuck for our viewers. Now go away. 

ADAM: Okay bye.

POLICE OFFICER: We had a 9-1-1- hang up. What is the complaint? I'm so sick of self-absorbed girls thinking their drama is so terrible.

ADAM: You called the po-po on me?!

HANNAH: Um, I want a restraining order.

ADAM: Oh, and maybe I should have filed one when you showed up at my house wearing just knee socks. That shit should be illegal.

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